bangkok

i arrived at 4am after a long and boring flight without much sleep. my backpack wasn't on the luggage belt and after talking to the luggage claim office people i figured out it had been flown back to amsterdam with the kiev flight. at first i thought oh shit, this cannot be happening, i just want to get to my hostel and sleep!! and then i thought oh shit, what if they can't find it! the girl at the office asked for my luggage tag (note to everyone, NEVER lose your luggage tag) and told me the backpack was in amsterdam. damnit. i asked her what the plan was now and she said it would be coming back with another flight to bangkok. a colleague came over and they started talking in thai and all i heard was august 16th (it was august 5th that day) so i said WHAT, AUGUST 16TH!?!?! but i misheard and he actually said august 6th. relief. and they also sent it to the hostel, so i didn't have to come back and pick it up myself.

all was good again. the hostel i booked was in the silom area, close to a BRT station (which is a skytrain). all international flights arrive at Suvarnabhumi Airport and to get into the city you either get a taxi or take the train. the train costs 45 baht (1,15 euro) and takes about 30 minutes. but when i arrived the trains weren't going yet so i found a bench and slept for a bit. i arrived in the city a few hours later, but couldn't check into the hostel until 2 pm. i went in around 10am anyway and the sweet lady let me into my room already. probably because i looked like a mess, was coughing and my voice had pretty much vanished. i wanted to sleep for just an hour and stay awake until 10pm, so i'd not get a jetlag. however, i completely passed out and woke up around 7pm. hello jetlag.

i booked 4 nights in bangkok and i was happy i didn't book more! the famous patpong market was a 5 minute walk from my hostel. it's basically your typical asian night market, but a bit further down is the gay area (and i do mean men) and 'adult entertainment' section of this lively city. the market itself sells everything from watches to dildo's and while wandering around you will be asked if you're interested in seeing a ping pong show. for all the innocent souls reading this, they do not  mean the sport, but the adult entertainment version if you know what i mean (if not, check google). 

other known places in bangkok include the grand national palace, sleeping buddha and the backpacker haven koh san road. the palace is only open until 3pm and after that you can't get in and will have to see it peeking out of the wall surrounding it (see photo). i haven't seen sleeping buddha but did manage to check out koh san road and it was alright, not spectacular or anything. 

it's basically a big road with bars, cheap shops, hostels, food vendors, massage places and tourists on every inch of the street. i actually preferred the roads surrounding it, which have a lot of the same things, but are a lot less crowded and therefore have a more relaxed vibe. i did get a footmassage and it was AMAZING, especially after walking around the city for three days. 

other things you can do in bangkok is shop shop shop and eat eat eat. as i'm going to be a teacher here i'll have to dress like a teacher when i'm in class. here that means no visible tattoos or piercings, no flip flops tank tops or shorts and no low cut shirts. since i usually don't wear smart outfits at work or in my personal life i had to get some teacher outfits here and shopped at a massive mall called MBK center. it was nice to escape the pressing heat and busy traffic outside. 

i also went to the cinema (was dying to see the new batman movie) and they play the national anthem before each film and you MUST stand up when it does. in thailand the kingdom is highly respected and people tend to have pictures of the king everywhere. another place where i went to escape the hustle and bustle of the city was lumphini park, which is in the middle of bangkok and the only public park in bangkok. it was created in the royal occasion of the King's 15th anniversary of accession to the throne in 1925.

when i arrived at my hostel i didn't have any nice people in my room, but the second day a girl from the uk arrived and the day after we went to the zoo. she asked me if i wanted to go with her and of course said yes. on the way there we saw gok wan walking past us at the brt station! i also booked a train ticket to surat thani for the next day and after finding a tuktuk that wasn't ripping us off we finally arrived at the zoo. it looked abit run down, but i got to hold a penguin so i was happy. btw, if you want to plan things in bangkok and have to go by taxi, tuk tuk or motorcycle taxi, always add about an hour to your arrival time, because the traffic is always insanely busy.

so bangkok was basically your typical big noisy dirty smelly asian city. i had a cold, sore throat, jet lag and a hostel room that smelled like mold. i still had fun times, but i was really happy to get out.

 

my course is on koh samui, which is an island in the south and next to koh phangan, famous for the monthly full moon party. koh samui is more of a family island with plenty of resorts and fancy restaurants for all the holiday goers, but also a lot of gorgeous empty tropical beaches and cheap street food. you can fly in from bangkok, but i wanted to take the train, because that way you can actually see the country and spend less money and yes it does take about 12 hours, but hey, i'm not in any rush. 

the train ride was really relaxed. i had a seat instead of a sleeper cabin, because they were all sold out. the window was wide open and i spent most of the ride reading and staring out the window. the seat was acually a lot better than what i'd expected for only 10 euros. i thought it would be a wooden bench with 30 people on it all smooshed together, but it was just a normal train seat. i arrived in surat thani and after that a bus takes you to the ferry which takes you to the island. 

and 3 hours later there i was on koh samui, surrounded by blue skies and a white sandy beach :)

organizing thailand

going to thailand was a bit of an impulsive decision. i hadn't saved heaps, but i wanted to get away and have a new adventure so i thought ok, what country is cheap to live, might have work for me and will be a place i'll like....? the answer was thailand! i've heard from many people that thailand is amazing, good to travel, cheap etc etc. i've never been before but part of having an adventure is drowning yourself in the unknown. for the work part, i literally just went to google and typed in 'thailand work'. the first thing that popped up was TEFL (Teaching English as a Foreign Language) and i'd already looked into that so i figured that's what i'm gonna do! english is something i'm actually rather good at, so now let's hope that teaching is something i'm good at too.

i quit my job, booked a flight and prepared my TEFL course. it turned out to be a bit of a hassle. i wanted to start my course aug 27th, but only had about 3 weeks left until my flight. not only did my debit card not work, i also needed a record check in order to be able to work in thailand and had to translate the dutch form, so that the TEFL organization (based in the UK) could fill it in and send it back. i also still had to get my visa and fix my debit card. the last week everything was done and sorted, but looking back i should have probably started out a bit sooner. i was also audited by the tax office, and am still waiting for my tax return, which i'd planned into my budget. right now i'm still managing ok, but i can't really do tours or any other big things until i have my tax money back.

the weekend of my flight to bangkok was gay pride in amsterdam. even though i wasn't gonna be here for the big canal parade, i wanted to have a little taste and went to a girl party in amsterdam. my flight left early in the morning, so my plan was to party, go to the airport and sleep in the airplane: dumb plan. i already had a sore throat and was feeling a bit ill, but i danced laughed drank and had a great night anyway. when we got to the airport i was dying hahaha. i was getting hungover and was so tired, but for some reason i cannot sleep normally on an airplane. i had a stopover in kiev where i found a dutch couple who were also heading to bangkok. the girl asked the lady at the transfer desk if we needed to collect our luggage, but she said it would be placed in the airplane to bangkok, so we went to the gate and got on board. i flew with ukrainian airlines and i had the feeling that the plane was older than me! my table had rust on it, there was no entertainment and not much leg space...and like i said earlier, i can't sleep on planes. 9 hours later and even more exhausted i arrived in bangkok only to find that my backpack wasn't there and had somehow made it's way back to amsterdam...

back home again

what a trip. i was amazed how fast time flew by. it's hard to describe what happens when you leave home for such a long time. i felt a bit nervous, because when i left i was in a bad place, lifewise, so i was scared that all the things that were breaking me down before i left would still be there. it felt odly familiar but in a completely different way. i mean i went back home where i grew up and where everything was still the same. i saw the friends i'd known for so long and it felt like i'd never left, which was really nice. after all the excitement of seeing the people i love again, it started to sink in that i'd changed so much. before i left i was scared of life, i was insecure about myself and most of all i really didn't like myself. i'm not saying that all of that has just 'poof' vanished, but after experiencing so much like you would during a trip like this, i definitely felt how it was to truly be happy and have a moment where you just look around some place you've never been before and actually FEEL that your soul is alive. of course the minute you recognise that moment it will actually 'poof' vanish, but just the thought of it right now makes me smile. it's easy to forget about that, to forget to take the time and remember the moments that count and which will last a lifetime. good thing i can blog about them :)


so right now at this moment it's about one year and seven months after my arrival back home. a lot has happened and i've again changed so much. when i arrived i had absolutely no more money left, so i immediately started looking for a job. i applied for loads of things and ended up working as a logistical planner for a big supermarket. it seemed like the best thing at the time and even though i told my supervisor i was only staying for two years i was hired. after that i fell in love and got into a relationship with the girl i had always dreamed of being with. i was absolutely insanely passionately head over heels in love and could not have been happier. i also spent more time with my brother who bought a house while i was away and had started a relationship with an awesome girl who had two daughters. so all was going pretty good. until it all fell apart...


i think one of the most important things that happened was going off my medication. i started taking anti depressents when my first therapist diagnosed me with a depression. i kept taking them when i was backpacking, but felt secure and stabile enough to get rid of them after finding a good job and falling in love with the woman of my dreams. my doctor advised me to find a therapist in order to have some sort of back up. so i did and that's when i realised that all the shit i had left behind was still there, waiting to attack and it did. hard. that's when i fell apart and i had my heart broken. i couldn't believe it and i think i was really in shock for quite some time. somehow i kept hoping that things would work out again and that we were strong enough to handle anything, but she couldn't do it. she couldn't see me unhappy and not being able to help and she figured the best thing was to let me go.


just when you think you can hande anything and everything is totally fine, it all falls apart. i went through hell and i don't think i've ever felt that alone. ever. i started breaking down at work and after dragging myself there day after day and feeling totally empty i quit. all i could do was cry and go to therapy. it was like that for weeks and i was just going crazy. i started reading a lot of books about consciousness, spirituality and mindfullness. i somehow picked myself up and started meditating and exercising (just a little bit) and i just opened up and talked to people about what was making me feel so sad and why i was SO heartbroken. i figured out it had a lot to do with my childhood (doesn't it always!) and so i confronted myself with my behaviour and tried to figure out why i am who i am and why i do what i do. i basically just took the time to finally heal a bit, after numbing myself for 26 years. it was a big struggle, but i made it. i can't say that at this point i'm totally happy, complete and living the life i want, but for the first time in my life i've faced my issues and problems and chose to do something about them instead of running away and supressing them. i can truly say that i'm proud of myself and for what i've accomplished so far. i've gotten to know my true self a bit more and although i still have moments where i think ''why the hell am i like this?!?!" there's a lot i've got going on and i just hope that what i'm doing next will bring me further somehow...


so what is next?


THAILAND!!!!

lots and lots of broccoli and newyears in brisbane

my very last job in australia was cutting and packing broccoli at a farm where i was actually paid per hour!!! the hostel we stayed at was really nice and the people who worked there were so helpful and sweet and it was a very nice change from lillie's backpackers. every saturday night was 'bar night' and the kitchen/dining area was transformed into a bar. alcohol wasn't allowed at the hostel, except for these nights. we would also go on trips every now and again and the staff also brought us to the supermarket every week.
the work was a lot harder and we also worked when it rained. most people staying at the hostel also worked at this farm and every morning we were all dropped off and we would wrap ourselves in garbage bags because no one had a proper rain suit. the weather was really bad, but because it was christmas time and for some reason people like broccoli a lot, the orders were huge and we had to work over 11 hours a day sometimes. i was still in a bad mood from all the shit that happened at the other hostel and it took me a while to get my mojo back. i was just so tired of working so hard, but this time i was finally paid a normal, decent wage. my visa was almost running out and i think that looking back at my year in australia, i was a bit dissapointed and i wished i'd been able to do more cool stuff you dream about doing when you get to australia. of course i worked enough to be able to get my 2nd year visa, but i decided it was better to go back home and save and then come back and do all the things i wanted to the first time around.
after i finished working enough days to get my 2nd visa, i decided to spend my last week in brisbane. i'd saved a little bit to be able to go out and have fun and that's pretty much all i did. i also spent newyears there and i went to a lesbian party in the city. there i entered a karaoke competition where i came in second!! i had a blast and brisbane is such a beautiful city. people are very outdoorsy and friendly and i'm happy i was able to still spend a week there.
after australia i visited my family in the philippines again. there i met my little cute baby brother sean and saw the house for the first time! it was finished for the most part, but there were still a few things that had to be done, for example moving in a huge steal spiral staircase, fixing the roof which was leaking and finishing the outside. the house looked absolutely amazing and i think it was everything my dad and jade dreamed of. it was also so cool to meet my little brother who was only a few months old at the time. i changed a diaper for the first time in my life and experienced the noise that a tiny person like that can produce, my god!!
then three weeks later i arrived home afer 2 years and 8 months, even though i initially planned to be gone for three months...

wallangarra farming horror

wallangarra is a hugely boring town on the edge of queensland and new south wales. here i stayed for ten weeks in a hostel called lillie's backpackers. DO NOT EVER GO HERE (see picture left). you have been warned.
the only thing that made me survive this hell hole, were the amazing girls i've met there. why was this place so horrendous? i'll try to be brief about it....
first of all the woman running the place. i've never met anyone as inhumane and horrible as her. she lived in the hostel and was a total pain in the ass. she treated us like we were 'the enemy' and talked about us behind our backs to the farmer. so not a very welcoming place. the work itself was actually not so bad. i really enjoy working outdoors, so i don't mind farming, unless i get treated badly, which was the case at this place. the farmer is a dirty racist scumbag who while talking to the supervisors referred to us as 'bitches', and who would lower the payrates whenever he felt like it (which was usually whenever we'd made enough to cover the rent) and he made the supervisors fire anyone who would say something about that. and get this, when you do get fired, you get one hour to pack up and leave and you even have to pay money for the woman from the hostel to pick you up!! i'm normally the type of person who cannot stand unfair treatment, but i had no money to go anywhere else and i was scared to lose my job, so i stayed quiet for ten weeks until i exploded of anger....almost literally! it also didn't help that it was raining a lot while i was there, it was in the area that got flooded during the heavy rainfall in the summer of 2010 (prior to the brisbane flood in 2011).
the farm itself was about 30 minutes from the hostel and we had to thin different types of fruit trees. like i said the work itself was really ok, but there was no toilet on most of the farms we worked at. there was one portable toilet, but from the looks of it, it hadn't been used or cleaned in a very long time. we started out with three really nice and friendly supervisors but they ended up leaving, because they also thought the owner was an asshole. after that we got stuck with a disgusting, chauvinistic, alcoholic macho loser who used to ride around on his quad, stopping near some of the girls and just sit there and stare. he really made my skin crawl, and i ended up getting into a fight with him. he of course had someone else fire me (i got fired the day before my last day there which he knew about, such a pathetic thing to do if you ask me) and when i went up to him to comfront him about this, i just went totally insane and all the rage from the past ten weeks just came out!! it's really not my style to do something like that, but when i was finished everyone was so happy that i just yelled in his face what everyone else was thinking!
so there i was, in the middle of nowhere with no money and no work. again. luckily for me my mates backed me up, but it also meant that they were fired too...we ended up hitching back to the hostel, because there was no way we were gonna pay to be picked up!! but they already called the woman from the hostel and we actually ran into her. she stopped and asked where we were going. i explained to her that there was no way we were paying to get home because we had no money and instead of giving us a free ride, she just slammed the door shut and drove off. we first stopped in town at a jobagency where the lady who worked there arranged for us to stay at a different working hostel nearby. she was so incredibly sweet and had so many girls coming in from lillie's backpackers and felt really bad for us. we ended up baking her a cake later on :)
when we finally arrived back at the hostel after that, the woman from the hostel was incredibly rude and yelled at us that we had an hour to leave. even though i had always been really nice to her and never had any conflicts, she treated me like i was scum. it really sucked and it definitely ruined my australia experience a little bit. even looking back now after two years i still get a bit sad, it was like a total kick in the face. (here to the left a picture of us waiting to get picked up by the other hostel).
i remember sitting on the road after working really hard that day, with a paycheck in my hand that said AUD18. i just sat there and i was so disillusioned and realised that no matter how hard i worked, i was never gonna be able to do all the cool stuff i wanted to do in australia, due to the greedy farmers that use backpackers and just don't give a shit. to them we're all easily replaceable workers who can be fired whenever and the worst part is that as a backpacker you have absolutely no rights. there is not one organization that stands up for backpackers and there is no place you can go when something like this happens!! of course not every farm is like this and luckily for me i was able to actually experience that a few days later.

and now for the stuff that got me through all this: the girls, new dawn magazines, my camera, cooking, so you think you can dance, the veggie lady down the road, going on adventures in the rain, junior masterchef and my psp! when you're stuck in a situation like this, knowing you have to stay for a few weeks (for the 2nd visa) you try to make the best of it and i was lucky to have such awesome people around me who felt the same way. i had my ups and downs like everyone else, but what made me really happy was cooking. i started baking, because even though the hostel was shit, the kitchen was amazing! plus flour, sugar and butter were so cheap that baking wasn't too expensive to do. and there's nothing better than cheering up bored backpackers stuck in the middle of nowhere with a nice banana cake or tiny cheese croissants. it's also the place where i perfected my veggie soup, it's the cheapest dish you can make and if you just make a huge pot, you can save small portions in the freezer: food for a week, BOOM!

so we entertained ourselves and of coursed bitched and moaned a lot. there was suprisingly not a lot of girl drama going on, or maybe i just blocked it in my memory haha. but seriously, i think that because of the shit situation we were all in, we had such a good time together. i'll never forget me and cristina singing songs at the farm all day long; sophie making me laugh and putting catpoop on my arm (that's a long story); getting dressed like a zombie and having a halloween barbecue; making eight homemade pizza's for pizza night; buying cheap and fresh veggies at the veggie lady down the street; chilling out in our pyjama's and watching so you think you can dance; trying to fish; trying to slap a cow on its ass; watching natalie portman rap on my psp and laughing a lot.
the next working hostel we stayed at was called the summit which was a short drive away. the people owning it were so incredibly nice and decent and they arranged a new job for us quite quickly.